While I started my CIP in a temple and shrine sightseeing circle, the circle’s schedule proved to be unfeasible for a CIP project and I instead joined Klexon. Klexon is a volunteer organization in the Kyoto area that is the equivalent of a meet-up group. In this case, Klexon is a meet-up between fluent English-speakers and Japanese in the Kyoto area who want to speak English.
During my various CIP experiences with both Klexon and the sightseeing circle I’ve encountered a few facets of Japanese culture and society that seem to coincide with what I’ve experienced outside of CIP as well. In CIP, we are asked to make hypotheses and generalizations about the Japanese. But to a large extent, what my CIP experience has taught me is that there are various Japanese people who don’t all believe the same things.
For example, my first night at Klexon, we were asked to draw a fall festival from our hometowns and talk about them. Obviously, I had no choice but to write about Halloween. Others wrote about different festivals. I asked two Japanese people what their festivals celebrated, because they only explained what happened during the festival, and I’m interested in that sort of thing. Both said they didn’t know and seemed slightly troubled by my question, but, after the second time, one of them told me that the Japanese sometimes just hold festivals and that they don’t necessarily mean anything. Now, we weren’t speaking in his native language, so I can’t say for sure. I can think of half a dozen alternatives off the top of my head, but I had the sense that my questions had been offensive or perhaps troubling to him in some way. The next day, I spoke to my Japanese language partner and asked her what she thought of my question, but she thought it was a perfectly normal thing to ask and that the festival probably had some sort of origin.
So, while it is a small example, it still provided an insight that I try to keep in mind. Not all Japanese people will feel the same way about something. So I’m largely reluctant to do anything that involves making generalizations about a group of people.
Having said that, I’m going to make one based off of my CIP experience that has been supported by my interactions with Japanese outside of CIP. During my time with the sightseeing circle, we climbed partway up Fushimi-Inari Taisha. A little way up, we all went to a stone where you would make a wish and try to lift the stone. If you could lift the stone your wish might come true. I lifted it, yay me, but my wish is a secret ;P—Anyway, after everyone tried lifting the stone, people started asking everyone around them if they had a girlfriend, particularly those who couldn’t lift the stone. I got the feeling they were asking whether they wished for girlfriends, but my Japanese wasn’t good enough to tell. Then, they asked me if I had a girlfriend. Now, in the U.S., that kind of question is a little forward, because, if the person doesn’t, that might be inconsiderate. Also, when someone asks you that there’s some level of connotation that they’re asking for themselves or for a friend. Fortunately, I didn’t jump to conclusions and assume I was being asked out. After I said I didn’t, they asked me if I was married; though, I misunderstood them to be asking if I wanted to be married. I said once I found the right person, yes, I’d like to be married. But, after that, I kept on hearing kekkon (marriage) being brought up in the various conversations around me. I was a little surprised, because Americans typically aren’t so forward about those questions with people they’ve just met. But, from what I’ve experienced in Japan both in CIP and outside, these kinds of questions seem to be pretty normal. For example, my friend’s adoptive Japanese family took a few of us out to lunch. In the middle of lunch, the mother turned to me from a long conversation with someone else and, without context, asked me what I thought of Japanese girls. Stunned, I managed to remember how to say that between American girls and Japanese girls either is fine. Another example would be in Klexon. One man I spoke to was quite interested in my love life and asked me if I had a girlfriend. After I said I didn’t, he said I should get a Japanese girlfriend. Upon hearing that I had a host sister, he asked if she was beautiful. The next day, I went to my Japanese language partner and asked if these kinds of questions are normal. She explained to me that they’re pretty normal questions when people first meet new people. So, while these questions may be incredibly awkward and forward in America, they appear to be standard operating procedure here in Japan.
So, yes, I would say that I’m reluctant to make generalizations about groups of people. But, at the same time, there are customs and cultural norms that are different here than elsewhere. I guess that’s just something to keep in mind.
Augustus –
Those are some funny anecdotes, and situations I think many of us have been in! What was the set-up of Klexon? Were meetings always organized around set conversation topics like a fall festival, or was there also free conversation time or special events? Was the conversation exclusively in English, or were you able to practice Japanese as well? What was the demographic of the members, and was it the same group week to week? Were there many other native English speakers, and, if so, what were their backgrounds (study abroad students, permanently living here…)?
Klexon meets every week on Tuesday nights for two hours. For the first hour, you go through six partners in ten minute intervals. While a conversation topic is provided, I’ve never noticed anyone particularly eager to stick to it, so I assume it exists solely in case conversation gets stale. In the second hour, we break up into groups of four. For roughly twenty minutes we introduce ourselves and talk. Then for another twenty minutes we draw for a weekly assigned topic (this is where the fall festivals came in) and talk about our drawings. Supposedly, there was a ten minute talk in Japanese interval, but I only experienced it once, so I didn’t get much of a chance to practice Japanese, and then the last ten minutes is another group free talk period.
About every other week, it turned out that they have dinner parties that you have to sign up for. I figured this out somewhat late and never managed to make it to one, so I don’t know what they’re like.
It was a large group, and it was one that constantly rotated, so I rarely met the same people more than once. In fact, I only remember meeting one girl twice and only because she remembered me first. While there are a lot of English speaking members, the layout of Klexon means that you wouldn’t necessarily speak to them within the activities themselves, so I never got to actually speak to any of them, but I would say that there are probably two-thirds as many English speakers as there are Japanese. A lot of the English speakers seemed older, so I think they were probably professionals living in Japan. The demographics were split roughly 50-50 between men and women.